can’t focus, won’t focus.
don’t really know how.
should have taken the staystillandquiet pink pills
they work. i don’t eat with them.
but they work.
as my body shrinks my mind sharpens
i always wanted to be skinny
but could have forgone the panic attacks.
they are part of the pink pills
gnawing on the inside of my cheek
i still will take the focusoneverything pills
even if they make me obsess on the worst.
today, though, i forgot
to take my beagoodgirl medicine
and have resigned myself to writing poetry
in a coffee shop where i am told
i am like a bombshell
they meant it in a good way
but i take it in a bad way
inside the shell of an explosive
is the deadly part.
explosions are beautiful from a distance
but from next to me,
the are devastating.
being a bombshell, perhaps
is the worst compliment of all.
i should have taken my
keepyourfuckingmouth shut treatment
because i don’t want to control my words today
today i have no desire to hold my tongue
and not say
everything that crosses synapses
racing from my brain
to my lips faster than
cars that race on the autobahn
and just like the german engineering that
was developed just to keep one alive
during the 180kph crash
i am kept alive by the shell of my bomb
on my heart, soul, and mind.
created by a blue keepsmilingevenwhenithurts pill.