I was a junior and Dan was a senior
drug addict in the school of arts and sciences. Neil
Young was a prolific songwriter with no
allegiances, except for the music. I had never
done cocaine before, so while he was cutting it
on the square mirror on top of the dresser, I put on
a record, and asked him what kind of shape
I would be in for class at two o’clock. He said
it was an aphrodisiac, so go figure. He was
cutting class himself and meeting his girlfriend
at one-thirty, because all it made him want to do
was fuck. I didn’t have a girlfriend. I had a comparative
religion class at two o’clock, and now I was thinking
twice about getting high before God and
man. But Dan was in a hurry, and he handed me
the rolled-up twenty which I knew enough to
stick inside my nose and aim at the nearest
cloud-row reflected in the square lake on top
of the dresser–and sniff vigorously. The Dan
was saying something about making love
as he left the room, and Neil was saying something
about needing someone to love him the whole
day through, and I was alone with God and no one
to talk to about God, when the coke kicked in.
Thank God for Dan, who came back looking
for his twenty. “I don’t think God created the world,”
I said to him as he scooped up the bill and licked
the top of the dresser with his tongue, as an afterthought.
“In fact, I doubt He even knows we’re here.”
“Thank God for that,” said Dan, “because all I want
to do in the world is snort cocaine and rub my cock.”
I loved his honesty. I told him I would try to weave it
into my paper on Abraham. “You need to get laid, man,”
said Dan. “Old man, take a look at my life,” said Neil,
as I sat down at a typewriter and began: “‘Here am I,’
said Abraham to God.” “I’m out of here,” said Dan.