A man sits at a table drinking a 20 ounce black coffee. He’s bald, has glasses, and is wearing a brown newsboy cap. He is looking outside the window while he types on his laptop and has earbuds in. Occasionally he mutters to himself and types something. He is probably 5 ft 10 in, has a 5 o’clock shadow and is wearing a blue button up shirt and black jeans. His computer isn’t a Mac and is black with a few stickers on it. He’s probably in his late twenties.
(DONOVAN sits down in confession box, he is nervous.)
Ok so… it’s been awhile since I’ve done this. So I guess I just go? (pause) Ok. Uh, forgive me Father for I have sinned, it’s been… eh about three years since my last confession, give or take. So I guess that’s a sin right? (pause) Alright listen, I’m just here comes my girlfriend forced me, she’s not super catholic but for some reason the whole confession thing is really big for her. So how about we just talk for a couple minutes and call it good? I leave with a happy girlfriend and you get some nice small talk? (pause) Come on Father, I’m not really a bad guy, sure I tell the occasional lie and break the rules like jaywalking but who doesn’t. (pause) You’re telling me that I have go through every one of my sins? (pause) Fine I’ll play your game. I parked in a handicap spot at Target yesterday. I haven’t called my mom in a couple weeks. I lied about being sick for work last week so I could go to a baseball game. I took two Andes mints instead of one at Olive Garden (pauses, waiting for laughter) Ok, ok. You’re really going to make me do this? (pause, takes a deep breathe) Recently I… I feel— … I’ve been questioning my sexuality. I tried talking to Sarah about it but she just doesn’t want to believe it she just keeps telling me that I’m just going through a weird phase. It’s like talking to a wall… (frantically) You can’t tell anyone about this! (pause, angrily pulls back the divider and finds the seat empty).
by Ellora Bultema