I am writing to you in the moments you’re missing

Wondering if I miss you

You’ve been absent since I was young –

The difference now is permanence

I wonder if you knew

What you were becoming

If you were as scared as I am

Of becoming you

Everytime my lips touch a bottle

I remind myself I’m in control

That I will be me

And you will be you

But I still fear I’ll become victim

To the same poison

You fed your son

In the womb

I don’t want to die at 33